Journey of the Brokenhearted
by warnesy-01
Summary: What if Jacob got back just in time to stop Bella jumping off the cliff? Bella moves on with her human life just as Edward planned. Over a year later she publishes a book, but what is it about? And how does it affect the Cullens?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, and welcome to my new story Journey of the Brokenhearted :) Obviously, it takes place during New Moon. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters.

"No Bella!" a familiar, husky voice called from behind me. I turned to see Jacob running out of the woods.

"Just in time," I said, smiling, as I turned back to the cliff's edge. The wind billowed around me, the salt water stinging my eyes and drenching my hair and clothes.

"Bella, stop!" Jake called as I prepared to jump.

"Why?" I asked him, confused.

"Are you crazy Bella? Look at the water," he said, running to my side and pointing down towards the sea.

"Oh," I murmured quietly as I realized my mistake.

"It's turning into a hurricane out here! You'd drown in there, what were you thinking?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Sorry, I was thinking more about the fall than the water, I didn't realize it was so bad. Thanks Jake," I said, realizing he had just saved my life.

"No problem, Bells. Come on, let's get you home, you're probably freezing," he said, wrapping his warm arm around my shoulders.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" Jacob asked. What was I supposed to say? _I couldn't wait to hear the voice of the love of my life in my head._ That wouldn't go down well.

"I don't know Jake. I just got the idea of cliff diving stuck in my head, and I couldn't wait to try it," I tried to explain. He was still staring at me strangely.

"Bella you weren't…" he trailed off awkwardly. Then it suddenly clicked into place.

"Oh! Oh, no Jake. I wasn't trying to commit suicide! I could never hurt Charlie or you that way," I assured him.

"Ok," he sighed, looking a little relieved.

"So, did you find Victoria?" I asked tentatively, once we were back in my truck.

"No we lost her trail. It led off into the water, that's why I came back here, because I knew you'd be at the beach," he explained.

I let out a sigh of relief. As much as the thought of Victoria finding me scared me, it was nothing compared to how I would feel if Jacob and his brothers were to face her. She just looked so indestructible next to their semi-human forms.

The drive home passed quickly while I was lost in thought and soon enough we were outside of my house.

"Are you going to be alright?" Jacob asked me, his eyebrows pulling together, casting a dark shadow over his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Are you right to get home?" I asked. He snorted.

"Of course, see you later Bella," he said.

"See you Jake," I said, and I headed for the door while he headed for the forest.

I unlocked the door using the key above the eve and hung my jacket on the hook.

"That you, Bells?" Charlie called. Of course, who else would it be?

"Yeah, it's me dad. Sorry I'm late, I was out with Jake," I apologized. I hadn't realized it was so late.

"It's okay. I ordered pizza, it's about time you got a night off," I heard him call from in front of the TV.

"Okay, thanks," I said, grabbing a plate and a couple of slices. After I'd eaten and washed the dishes I went upstairs and showered.

I went back downstairs to find Charlie asleep on the couch. I sighed and went over to shake him awake.

"Dad, come on, get up. You can't sleep like that, you'll hurt your neck," I said. I continued to shake Charlie as I heard the jingle for the evening news. I didn't pay it much attention as the news reader rambled on about some law suit involving two big companies, but then he mentioned a name that got my full attention.

"And in other news, Dr Carlisle Cullen has been awarded for his work on blood diseases," the news reader reported. My head snapped up as the screen showed a recording of the award ceremony.

"It is such an honour to receive this award. I have to give a huge thank you to my family who have supported me through my work," Carlisle said as he stood on the stage with his certificate and award.

And there it was; the brief flash that turned my whole world upside down. At the mention of Carlisle's family, the cameras zoomed in on five of the most beautiful people I had ever seen, all smiling proudly up at the stage. They were all there except _him_. The only explanation for that was that he was off with his 'distractions'.

I turned off the TV and followed Charlie upstairs in a daze. When I got to my room I curled up into a ball, preparing myself for the onslaught that was sure to come.

**So, what did you think? Apologies for not updating very much lately, I've been busy with tests and assignments. Thankfully, my work load has subsided somewhat and I will probably be able to update more frequently :) I'm really excited about this story; I think it's quite good. By the way, did anyone catch my little joke with Carlisles award? :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all those who read and reviewed; especially those who support me through all of my stories. I really appreciate it, and it motivates me to write more :)**

**Disclaimer:** I'm not the owner of Twilight, but you all know that.

There was one thing I had realized after watching that news report; all of this time I had subconsciously been holding on to the small hope that maybe one day I would hear something from _them_ again. But that small glimpse of their family, all sitting and smiling proudly, showed me that they were happy without me, and I knew they weren't coming back.

With that, there was no reason to stay in Forks. All it did was bring painful reminders.

"Dad?" I asked one evening at dinner, about a week after seeing the news.

"Yeah Bells," Charlie said.

"I'm going to go back to Jacksonville to live with Renee. I like living with you, but I think it's time to move on," I said. He understood what I meant.

"I know. Thanks for coming to stay with me for a while, I've loved having you around," he said gruffly, looking at the table.

"I love you dad," I said, my voice thick with emotion as I got up and hugged him.

"I love you too Bells. I'm so proud of you," he said.

"Thanks," I said, embarrassed.

A week later I was on a plane to Jacksonville. Renee was happy to have me home, but the hardest part was the goodbyes. Mike and Jess had wanted to throw me a big going away party, but I'd said a definite no to that. The worst had been saying goodbye to Jacob. He spent hours trying to convince me to stay, but I told him I couldn't.

I started my new life in Jacksonville, where I would start college in a few weeks.

**Edward's POV: ** **2 weeks later**

I was running north the fastest I had ever run. For months I fought with myself, telling myself Bella was better off without me, but I had finally given in. I wasn't strong enough to stay away from her, and the thought of being able to see her again only drove me faster.

I reached the woods surrounding Forks and was outside of her house in minutes. I suddenly felt nervous; what if she didn't want me? What if she hated me? Or maybe she didn't love me anymore? That had been my plan all along, for her to move on without me. Was it unfair for me to come back now?

Either way, I had to see her again, even if she didn't know about it. Maybe I would watch her sleep as I used to, and be gone by morning, as long as I knew she was safe and happy.

I scaled the wall and hung easily from the window sill, peeking into her room. The sight surprised me. The bed was made and the room was neat and tidy, as though no one lived here. I opened the window carefully and stepped inside. Her scent was still here, but not as strong. It was obvious she hadn't been here recently. I began to worry; had something happened to her? Was she hurt? I had to find out. I planned on seeing Charlie in the morning to ask where she was. Until then I hid in the trees by the house, waiting for the sun to rise.

I finally heard Charlie yawn and get up, and listened as he clattered around the kitchen making himself breakfast. I was about to make a move from my hiding place when a familiar voice stopped me.

"Edward, wait." I turned to see Alice a few meters from me.

"You can't go see him," she said.

"Why not?" I asked. I delved into her mind to see a vision of me standing at Charlie's front door. Suddenly he began yelling at me.

_How dare you come back here after all this time and expect to ask questions about her! Just leave her alone!_

Then he slammed the door in my face.

"Let me ask, it will go down better," Alice said.

"Fine," I sighed. I just wanted to know what had happened as soon as possible.

Alice walked gracefully to the door and knocked. After a moment it opened to show a surprised looking Charlie.

"Alice Cullen? What are you doing here?" Charlie asked.

"Hello Charlie. I'm sorry to drop in so early, but I was just passing through town, and I was wondering if Bella was home?" Alice asked politely.

"No sorry Alice. Bella moved to Jacksonville a couple of weeks ago to live with her mother," Charlie said.

"Oh, alright, thank you," Alice said.

"Bye Alice," Charlie said before closing the door.

Alice ran back to me.

"You're not going to Jacksonville?" she asked, confused, as she looked through my future. I shook my head.

"She's obviously happy and moved on, I'm not going to bother her now," I said. I saw Alice about to look into Bella's future.

"No Alice. Leave her be. We won't meddle in her life anymore," I was becoming more depressed by the second as I realized Bella really had moved on without me.

She sighed and I turned and left quickly, trying to use running as a distraction from the pain.

**What do you think? I'd love to know :) Next chapter's Alice and Edward's POVs :D**** Oh, and to those who didn't get it, Carlisle was doing work on **_**blood**_** diseases. Well, I thought it was funny, but maybe I'm just weird that way :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry! I felt so bad for those who said things like "Update soon" and "Can't wait for the next chapter". I was planning on updating like the next day, but I had camps and parties and I got distracted :( I'm sorry. As promised, Alice and Edward's POVs are finally here :)**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own Twilight, ect, ect.

**Alice's POV: 1½ years later**

I flipped through a bunch of catalogues quickly, trying to find something to do. Ever since we left Bella, everyone had been so different; the house was constantly quiet, Emmett didn't joke as much, I couldn't even bring myself to enjoy shopping anymore, knowing that I wouldn't get to come home and play 'Bella Barbie' anymore. It felt as though any fun and enjoyment was foreign and wrong, when we didn't have our clumsy, human Bella here to enjoy it with us.

It had only gotten worse when I came back with the news that Bella had moved on without us. Everyone had been upset with that, but I thought it was only to be expected. We had left to protect her and give her a normal human life; it was too late to regret that decision now.

I just wish I could have a little peek into her future, just to make sure she was okay, but Edward wouldn't allow it. He didn't want us 'interfering'.

He had taken this the worst. He had finally returned to the family a few months after our trip to Forks, but he rarely ever came out of his room; only to hunt, and he never spoke to anyone. Even though we could physically see and feel him, it felt as though he didn't exist anymore, as though the real Edward had been left behind with Bella.

I sighed as I picked up another magazine, this time for a book store. I got three pages in before I froze. On one page was an advertisement that took up the whole space, for a number one best-seller called 'Journey of the Brokenhearted'. But it wasn't the book that caught my attention, it was the author.

"Edward!" I called. He ignored me like he always did when anyone ever spoke to him. I rushed up to his room and barged through the door.

"Edward, look!" I cried.

"What is it, Alice?" he grumbled. I turned the ad towards him. His eyes scanned the page for half a second before they zoned in on something. He raced over and snatched the magazines from my hands.

"Alice, what is it?" Carlisle asked from behind me. I turned to see the whole family standing in the doorway. I must have worried them with my urgency.

"Bella wrote a book!" I said excitedly, grabbing the catalogue from Edward and throwing it to Carlisle. They all crowded around to see.

"Wow, I didn't know Bella wrote books!" Emmett said, amazed.

"Number one best-sellers, you mean," Jasper corrected, sounding awed.

"Do you want to go get it?" I asked Edward excitedly. I don't know why I was so happy, I was probably just glad I could finally get some information about Bella again.

"No," Edward said flatly, before slamming the door in all of our faces.

**Edward's POV:**

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the author was Bella.

"Wow, I didn't know Bella wrote books!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Number one best-sellers, you mean," Jasper said. Seeing their reactions, I realized they missed Bella almost as much as I did.

"Do you want to go get it?" Alice asked me excitedly.

"No," I said before closing the door on them.

I don't know what it was, but something about reading Bella's book made it feel like I would be intruding on her life again. It felt strange to say; Bella's book…

I was also a little hurt; I knew Bella had moved on with her life in Jacksonville, but a very small part of me had always hoped that maybe she still cared, maybe she missed me a little, or maybe she still thought about me, obviously not.

"Well, I'm going to buy it," Alice said indignantly, before she got into the car and drove off to the nearest bookstore.

She arrived home an hour later.

"I'm home! I got a few copies so we could all read," she called. I heard everyone else go downstairs and start reading. The house was amazingly quiet, except for the turning of pages, for about half an hour before I heard Alice call, "Edward, you might want to read this." There was a strange note to her voice that I couldn't decipher and she was blocking her thoughts from me. I grudgingly went downstairs.

"Why is that, Alice?" I asked.

"Because it mainly concerns you," was all she said as she passed me the book. Intrigued and confused I began to read.

It only took me half an hour with my vampire speed to finish the 500 page book. When I did I didn't know what to say. I was shocked, confused and upset. The book had obviously been the story of Bella's life when I left her. It began by describing how she had felt when I left her, continuing through her 'zombie months' as she described them, the night in Port Angeles, meeting Jacob Black, riding motorbikes, and more.

All through she described her pain at losing '_him_', she couldn't even say my name! I had growled out loud when I had read about meeting Laurent and her worry about Victoria coming after her.

The amazing part was, that after all we had put her through, she never actually mentioned us personally, she never thought badly of us and she kept our secret. When she talked about Laurent and Victoria all she said was; _they had been after me before, but that time I had _them_. This time I had no protection._

I couldn't stand to see how much pain I had put her through. Time and time again I underestimated her; first thinking she couldn't possibly love me as much as I loved her, then thinking she could just move on with her life without me, then being upset when I thought she had!

But she had finally given up on us. She thought after seeing my family on TV, that we were happy without her. How wrong she was! She thought I wasn't there because of my 'distractions', when really I just couldn't face being out in public! She had soldiered on through the pain while I had just hidden away; I was pathetic.

The worst part was that there was no happy ending in her story. Her last sentences echoed in my mind:

_I hope that maybe one day I will be strong enough to deal with the pain, and I will be able to appreciate everything they gave me, for it was more than I could ever ask for, and much more than I deserve. Until then I will just try to hold on. Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget._

Those words would haunt me for the rest of my existence.

"What do we do?" I asked hopelessly to no one in particular.

"We have to go see her," Alice said determinedly.

"What if that just makes it worse?" I asked.

"I can't see her reaction exactly, but I'm fairly confident she won't react badly," Alice said, "Besides, it's obvious she doesn't hate us, she just misses us," she continued.

"That's more than I deserve," I muttered.

"For once Edward, could you not make this about yourself," Rosalie said angrily, "You've seen what we did to her. We left her broken and now we have to fix that. You can't keep wallowing in this self-pity when Bella's still somewhere out there, alone and hurting. This isn't about you or any of us, this is about us helping Bella," Rosalie said defiantly. We all sat there staring at her in shock.

"What?" she asked, looking around at all of our surprised faces.

"Since when do you care about Bella?" I asked incredulously.

"I know she wasn't exactly my favourite person in the world before, but seeing what we did to her… she trusted and loved us and we let her down, broke all the promises that we made her. It's not fair," she said defensively. I saw in her mind that she was relating it to her own experience. She had been so close to everything she wanted; a husband, a family, a wealthy life, but it was all taken away from her when her fiancé attacked her and left her to be changed by Carlisle.

While what Rosalie said hurt me, I could see the truth in her words. She was right, it wasn't about me; we needed to help Bella.

"You're right Rosalie, thankyou," I said sincerely. While Rosalie could be quite 'pig-headed' as I'd once described to Bella, she had a good heart and felt strongly about her values, and in instances like this it was very useful for her to help bring us back to what's important.

"Come on, let's go help Bella," I said determinedly as I headed for my car, the rest of my family following behind me.

**Wow, that's long, well long for me at least. I edited a lot as I was writing, adding in lots of extra detail. That whole Rosalie thing randomly came to me just then. I like sensitive, caring Rosalie :) So what did you think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**WOW! I am absolutely stoked about those reviews! You guys are so kind! Thanks so, so, so much! I put this up as soon as I could :)**

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns all. That sounds so evil…

**Bella's POV:**

"Miss Swan, we're here," a deep voice woke me. I opened my eyes to see the sun rising outside of my window. I sleepily stood and followed my security guards off the plane.

"You've got a book signing at nine, but you have to meet Macy at 7:30," my P.A, Sarah, told me. Macy was my own personal beauty therapist. I didn't see why I needed to get all dressed up for a book signing, but apparently image was important.

All of my luggage was packed into the boot of a limo. Again, I didn't see why I needed a limo to simply drive through town.

As we drove around I watched the scenery out of my window. The hot, dry deserts of Arizona surrounded me. I was comforted by the familiar sights. This part of my book signing tour was especially nice because I was in Jacksonville, which would give me a chance to visit Renee and Phil, but there was a part of me that longed for the green, cloud covered Forks; my home.

We arrived at a hotel and I sat through an hour of Macy poking and prodding at me, fixing all of my flaws and blemishes. Macy was sweet, making easy chatter with me about inconsequential things, but I still didn't enjoy being fussed over. It also reminded me of when Alice would play 'Bella Barbie'.

I still tried not to think about _them_ too much, but it was a futile attempt when I always had people coming up to me in the street telling me how much they loved my book. Heaps of people complained that the 'story' was too depressing, that there should have been a happy ending. What they don't realize is this is actually my story, and I don't get a happy ending.

I did appreciate everything I had here and I was flattered that so many people had taken a liking to my book; I had never seen myself as a fantastic writer. I did enjoy travelling and the easy life I lived, but I would give all of that away without a second thought if I could have _him_ back. He was my life, my world and I would give anything and everything up just to be able to see him once more.

I mentally scolded myself; I needed to stop thinking like that._ They_ obviously weren't coming back, and I just needed to accept that fact and move on, but that was easier said than done.

"It's time to go Miss Swan," Sarah said, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Bella," I corrected. I had told them a thousand times to call me Bella. I wasn't even 20 yet, 'Miss Swan' sounded so formal and made it feel like I was above everyone else and I hated it.

I followed them out and groaned when I got outside. A blanket of clouds had covered the sky and sun. Just my luck; the one time I get to come to sunny Jacksonville, and it's cloudy!

I got into another limo and we drove to the library. As I stepped out of the car I saw a line of people starting from inside the building and stretching all the way down the block. Today was going to be a _very_ long day.

A couple of security guards surrounded me and walked me into the library. I always had someone with me these days, it was annoying.

I didn't have to do very much at book signings, just sit smile and sign books. I still got embarrassed being in the spotlight and was awkward meeting new people.

Hours later, after signing hundreds of books, I finally got back into the car and headed for the hotel for the night. I was seeing Renee tomorrow morning and then I would fly off in the evening. My life was so busy at the moment, it was like I was living on fast-forward and everything was just flying past without giving me a real chance to take it all in. It was surreal.

My hand felt like I would never be able to use it again, it reminded me of the time I helped Angela with her graduation announcements. I smiled at the memory.

I stretched as I got out of the limo, ready for an early night. For some reason, sitting around talking to people all day always exhausted me.

I was about to enter the hotel when someone stopped me.

"Bella?" I heard the most familiar, musical, beautiful voice in the world call. I spun around, unable to believe my ears. There they stood, in all of their amazing glory, the seven people I thought I'd never see again; the Cullens.

We stood staring at each other for a long, silent, tense moment.

"Do you want us to get rid of them, Miss Swan?" a security guard asked.

"Bella," I corrected out of habit.

"Can we talk to you?" Edward asked. It was funny how it didn't hurt to think his name anymore now that he was here. I still couldn't believe it; they were here! I couldn't think of any reason why they would be here, but I was ecstatic and worried and hurt at the same time, what if they left again? After a minute of consideration I answered.

"They're with me," I told security and motioned for them to follow me inside. When I got to my room I turned to Sarah.

"I would like a minute alone, please."

"Alright, goodnight Miss Swan," she said.

"Bella," I sighed, rolling my eyes. I closed the door once they were all inside.

**Haha mini-cliffy. Don't be angry at me, I've never done that before, there's a first time for everything :) I don't really think authors have security guards or constantly ride in limos, but in my story they do :) What will happen next? Hint: More reviews=faster update :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**I got lots of favourites and alerts last chapter, it made me very happy :) Thanks everybody! I'm not going to bother with explanations, they consist of a mix of loss of time, annoying family members who hog the internet, and just plain laziness :)**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight.

**Bella's POV:**

"What are you doing here?" I asked them.

"We read your book, we've come to apologise," Edward stated. A small part of my mind had wondered if this would happen, but I could never let myself consciously consider it, in case I began to hope. Hoping is painful.

"You don't need to feel guilty," I said.

"We're not here because we feel guilty, we are truly sorry," Edward said, his eyes smouldering, scattering my brain for a few seconds.

"It doesn't matter, I'm fine," I tried to convince them, looking away from his intense gaze.

"No you're not Bella. We hurt you, _I_ hurt you, and I'm so sorry for that," he said sincerely, his voice sounding pained.

"It doesn't matter, I'm over it," I lied, trying to seem off hand.

"Last we heard, you were about to jump off a cliff, and now you're fine?" Alice asked sceptically. I flinched back.

"That was over a year ago," I muttered.

"Bella, I know how you feel-"

"No you don't," I cut Edward off, "That book, they're just words, they don't tell you anything. You have no idea how I feel!" I let some of the pain out in my angry outburst.

"I do. Not because of the book, because I feel exactly the same way," he said.

"That doesn't make any sense, you left me," I said after a moment. I was desperately trying not to let myself hope.

"I left because I thought it was what was best for you. I thought you'd be better off having a safe human life. I hated living without you, but when I came back you were gone. I thought you had moved on and you were happy without me," Edward said, pain in his voice. The truth was finally starting to dawn on me.

"I thought you'd moved on without _me_. When I saw you all on the TV… I thought you'd forgotten me," I admitted sadly.

"I could never forget you," he said, his voice full of sincerity as he took a few steps closer to me.

"So all of this was just a huge misunderstanding?" I asked, amazed that I could have such bad luck.

"The odds were always stacked against us," Edward sighed.

"But you're here now, you'll stay?" I asked, looking for reassurance.

"How can you still doubt that? I love you more than anything else in the world," he said, coming even closer.

"It never made sense for you to love me; it was much easier to believe you never did," I murmured.

"They were all lies love, so that you would let me go. The guilt of hurting you that way will forever haunt me.

"I don't want you to feel guilty," I said, looking up at him sadly.

"Still the same selfless, stubborn human I see," he said, as he leaned his head down to kiss me.

"Don't go getting all mushy on us now," Emmett complained. Edward glared at him and Rosalie smacked him across the back of the head. I had totally forgotten his family were even there.

"What?" Emmett asked indignantly.

"Ruin the mood, much?" Rosalie said. I laughed; it felt so good to have my family back. Edward turned back to me and brought his lips to mine, as though there had been no interruption. I had waited too long for this, and in true Bella fashion, I reacted instinctively, my hands reaching up to entwine in his hair. He pulled away and chuckled as I caught my breath.

He pulled me over to the couch and sat me on his lap. I relaxed into his chest.

"I never knew you wanted to be an author, Bella," Emmett said.

"I never planned any of this. I used to write in a journal, to help clear my head and sort through my thoughts. My room mate found it one day and thought it was a story. I could hardly tell her it was a journal, she'd have me committed. So I let her think it was a story and she sent it in to be published, without my knowledge. I never really wanted any of this," I said quietly, staring around the large hotel suit.

After a minute, Jasper asked, "So, where are you going next?"

"I've got two more places after Jacksonville, and then I'm done," I said.

"Done?" Edward enquired, raising an eyebrow. I nodded my head.

"I appreciate everything I have here, but it's not really for me. Travelling and being in the spotlight all the time isn't really my thing. I think I'll go back to Forks, I've missed it and I haven't seen Charlie in so long," I smiled at the thought of going home.

"That sounds nice," Esme said.

"Will you be coming?" I asked them all.

"I think it would be best if we were to go straight back to Forks. It's too risky being in such sunny places," Carlisle said.

"Oh, right," I said, dropping my eyes so they couldn't see the hurt in them. It was only two weeks tops; I could live without Edward for that long, couldn't I?

"I'll stay with you," Edward whispered in my ear.

"Really?" I asked, looking up at him hopefully.

"I said I'd stay, didn't I?" he asked playfully. I smiled and yawned. The sun was beginning to set, and I was exhausted after such a long day.

"You're tired, let's get you to bed," Edward said. I rolled my eyes; he still treated me like a child.

"We'll need to leave tonight, it will be sunny tomorrow," Alice said.

"What will you do?" I asked Edward, worry obvious in my voice. I didn't want him jeopardising his safety for me.

"I'll be sneaky," he said, winking. I laughed and hugged my family goodbye.

"See you soon, Bella!" Alice said happily.

That night was on of the best in my life, everything was finally falling back into place.

**And that's the end :) Sorry if it wasn't as long as you would have liked. I get some people say my stories are too short, but I am trying.**

**The next story I'm putting up is one of my favourites, and it's my longest one yet, so I'm really excited about it :D Thanks a whole bunch for all of your support, I really, really, really love you guys :) Bye!**


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